Fetal Movements

They are so tiny and secret, these movements. So far, God and I are the only ones who can feel her. People always use the word "flutter" with fetal movements, like the teensy thing in there is already signed up for swim lessons, and for some reason, when you first notice it, "a flutter" seems to describe it better than anything. Because that's what you end up doing -- describing it to everyone else for many weeks before anyone can start to feel the frenzy from the outside. It's not until she starts actual kickboxing that daddy can get a sense of it. It's also called "quickening" -- though not to be confused with the Highlander Quickening -- which involves far more drama and special effects, which is just the opposite. The first few weeks of feeling fetal movements, they are just whispers and bubbles. (And sometimes, it's not even her, just you -- avec gazeuse.)

It's funny when you can tell they're tumbling around, like a sock in the dryer. That particular sensation I liken to the floopy tummy associated with a fast elevator. And then sometimes it's just a flicking feeling. Like she's just being annoying and repetitive with those tiny, perfectly manicured fingers, and like that thing your eyebrow can do, sometimes for a whole afternoon if you haven't gotten enough sleep. Often they plunk away at your cervix just to assert themselves.

Towards the end, they can move up to 30 times an hour. It just cracks me up that pregnant women are expected to behave normally while this is all going on. Just keep washing dishes, folding clothes, doing paperwork, taking calls, and speaking in public, all while this little alien is rooting around their insides and assaulting their bladder with a dynamite Lord of the Dance impression. (I can't even imagine what this is like carrying multiples.)

As you can see from the pictures, Anna likes to get up close and personal with my growing belly. She likes to talk to Maria through my belly button, which I think she considers a microphone of sorts. She pretends she can feel the kicks on the outside already, but I don't think she really can quite yet. I sort of think that in a few weeks, when the baby can really pack a whollup, Anna might freak out to feel it for real. And then later, when the movements are visible to the naked eye, and my belly starts to look like an undulating bubble in a lava lamp, we'll see if she's still willing to hang.